Proposal for brokered GOP convention

Last month in this blog I made the historic prediction that when none of the surviving Republican presidential candidates is able to win a majority of delegates at the GOP National Convention in September, the power brokers will draft Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman, the anti-Democrat (in two senses of the word), with General Dave Petraeus --- the fresh-faced architect of the '07 U.S. surge in Iraq --- to be the nominees. I'm aware of how silly this prediction sounds, but you must admit that my dream team looks serious and distinguished compared with the psychos, geezers, and nonentities still haunting the Republican campaign trail.

Today, however, Beardy provided one of his patented instant assessments of a complex situation and served up an alternative convention scenario that would be just as effective, and even more entertaining than my prediction. With wisdom that, in my mind, makes him a modern-day heir to the throne of Solomon, Beardy suggests that the Republicans break any convention deadlock with a game of Russian Roulette. Here are the rules: if you want the nomination, you have to play. If you don't play, you (ignominiously) drop out.

This is a brilliant solution, and is highly probable to produce a nominee that most strongly appeals to the core GOP lizard brain due to the guts and vision (i.e., macho insanity) that it would take to play. For purposes of dignity, I'd suggest that the proceedings take place in a nicely appointed television studio rather than on the convention stage; the latter setting might be a little too WWE even for Republicans. Anyway, I see the event being moderated by Tim Russert. The sequence of play could be determined with Mr. Russert asking each candidate in alphabetical order a jeopardy-style question of neocon trivia. A correct answer would earn the candidate the right to select the first roulette contestant; an incorrect answer would give him the roulette trigger.

Mr. Russert: Governor Romney: This lady liberal-basher has more cold sores than Heidi Fleiss.

Neat, huh? Actually, Beardy and I initially predicted that it would come down to a contest between Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee. Then Beardy added Fred Thompson to the list because, "for him, it would be a win-win situation."