All pundits suck except for me

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I did my best to avoid listening to vacuous celebrity pundits talk about yesterday's insignificant elections. Everybody's nervous about the economy, they tell us. Well no fucking shit. It's a critical fact about current affairs, but it had nothing to do with any of the nationally reported election results.

The results of the NJ governor's race was accurately predicted by pollsters for weeks: a toss-up between two unpopular politicians. The Democrat lost because the machine didn't bring out the urban vote for him. Urban Obama voters stayed home because Corzine and the NJ Democratic machine have issues --- nothing to do with Obama. There was to be no surprise no matter which way the wind blew.

The results of the Virginia governor's race was accurately predicted by pollsters practically since Day 1. There really hasn't been any significant liberalization trend in Virginia over the past decade, just the trading of some Republican seats for some conservative Democrat seats. Virginia has a southern mentality, and 18 months of racist slander against Obama during and after the 2008 campaign has evidently resonated with many "independent" voters (you know: crackers). A Pat Robertson protege will always win in Virginia if he behaves himself during the campaign. No surprises; no meaningful national momentum shift related to "economic jitters" or Obama indicated by the results.

The only significant result was the NY-23 special election, which wasn't critical or "key" in any conventional strategic way. The significance of it was that the Tea Bag Party, as led by Sarah Palin and Fred Thompson, was successful in marginalizing New England Republicans by backing a right-wing radical. Nothing to do with "economic woes" or Obama, but lots to do with the heart-warming plague that could subdivide the Republicans into two permanent minority parties or else create a small but decisive exodus of New England Republicans to the Democratic side of the divide.

For the old folks out there, the NY-23 special election campaign was roughly analogous to what it would have looked like in about 1970 if George McGovern and Ted Kennedy and Adlai Stevenson III had made a strategic decision to ally themselves with emerging radical left-wing political celebrities like Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and Bobby Seale... after the disastrous 1968 Democratic National Convention and presidential election. The Democrats in fact were tarred with guilt by association with left-wing radicals in the 1972 campaign, but the connection was spurious. Machine Democrats left George McGovern to the wolves in 1972, but for reasons very different than Radical Chic. Republicans exploited the generational divide in the Democratic Party to persuade the Silent Majority that the "Yippies" were running the show. It worked, and it paved the way for Ronald Reagan to begin his ascent from the slime to claw the Constitution from its hermetic glass display case and drag it in shreds back down into the slime... along with the rest of us.

An interesting question is when New England Republicans will work through their denial and wise up to the idea that there is no place for them in their party. If I were in Obama's political boiler room, I'd be volunteering for the Democratic Northern Strategy project in order to put down a historical bookend for the odious Republican Southern Strategy that defeated conservative Southern Democrats with Republicans or peeled them off to the Republican side. A Northern Strategy would not have to produce dramatic numerical shifts. I think that the best wedge issue for a Northern Strategy would be reproductive rights, i.e., reproductive rights for women.

Editor's note: sorry, no time to edit this mess for readability tonight, but I think the gist is self-evident. I'm now off to read some Fletcher Hanks comic reprints before bedtime. Stardust The Super-Wizard --- yes!

The zombie of Billy Mays

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Back from the dead... For A Limited Time Only!!!

[Photo credit: Beer-D.]

Special note to Anonymous

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Thanks for commenting on my post of 14 May 2009 and providing the JR link. But I must question your grasp of either mathematics or physics. Or the quality of your stereo vision. Jane may have been one-dimensional (I don't know for sure) but she was also very much three-dimensional. By my Simple Country Editor (TM) ciphering method, that makes her fully four-dimensional, putting her in a class with such notables as Heinlein's Valentine Michael Smith and Eugene the Jeep, Popeye's "fourth-dimensional dorg."


Editor's note: fair use is claimed for the accompanying image of Popeye the Sailor and Eugene the Jeep for purposes of education and cultural commentary.

So sorry, honorable readers, for my absence

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Man, I have been bent out of shape for several weeks now and it made me afraid to log on and post here. While I hate to use media-manufactured cliches, the term "perfect storm" does seem to apply in my sad case. Were I now writing to you from the zombie afterlife, another media-propagated cliche --- death by a thousand cuts --- might even be more to the point.

Some causes for my woeful state of affairs include two foolish attempts to have a good-faith conversation with two different certifiable libertarians (borderline psychosis grade); extreme sunlight deprivation due to climate and astronomical conditions; a management change at work with all the associated uncertainties; and a rising tide of "fucking shitwater" (as we like to refer to it around the StuporMundi Thanksgiving banquet table) that passes for public discourse; and a steady stream of reminders about the shortcomings of social life in my little town.

But that was then and this is now. I'll be dipping my little tootsies back into the warm, salty world of Blogspot in no time, and will resume my position in your life as a Polar Star of reasoned discourse and boyish charm before you can say "Jack Robinson."

Trashy little friend of the business world

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As seen on Atrios, Scott Simon's "friend from the business world, Joe Nocera," clearly demonstrates the odious nature of celebrity journalists with some intervention by a blogger named Matt Browner Hamlin. Nocera believes it is right and proper that there should be two different kinds of contracts for each of the nation's two principal social castes (i.e., Masters Of The Universe and All The Rest Of Us Slobs) --- one type that is sacrosanct versus another type that is merely a short-term serving suggestion to trick the rubes.

What a trashy little whore a man must be to write such things for open consideration by the general public. When celebrity journalists and pundits are not held accountable by their publishers for spreading lies or demonstrably ridiculous opinions, they need no credibility in order to earn a giant payday. It makes a guy wonder why the New York Times keeps people like that on salary.

I'll bet Joe Nocera is the type of person who thinks he's too important to wash his hands before returning to work. Absent gloves or hand sanitizer, never shake hands with a trashy little whore of a man. And if he touches you anyway, consider chopping off his hands. Thus Sprach StuporMundi.

Families: our most important resource

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Overheard last Saturday on the second level of Bergner's, Market Place Mall, Champaign, IL. Dramatis personae: a Mother, Upholstered with Fast Food; a Daughter, Inflamed with Desire.

Mother: No!
Daughter: Why? I don't have any!
Mother: Put them down before you break them!
Daughter: Whyyy?!? I don't have any!!!

See, this is what I was talking about [updated]

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We can disagree about the amount of harm this kind of headline does to Obama. But I argue that these kind of paper-cut news bites will cumulatively, subliminally, diminish his credibility and integrity in the public eye. It's not that HuffPost's snotty little headline is totally out of line, because it isn't. But it was entirely predictable and avoidable, just as I said. And he'll be taking it from the right and the left, both, for the duration. Especially as the economy continues taking, which every reputable macroeconomist says it will.

And my greater point stands, too: taking the prize blew a perpetual serving of chum to cowardly but bloodthirsty celebrity pundits who love to sniff at "apparent contradictions" in their betters. Every cycle of bandwidth this kind of petty critique takes up is one less cycle available for covering a real news topic. Unnecessary and regrettable, but not for the reasons the celebrity pundits give.

Update: TPM points to a real zinger by the always beyond-odious Pat Buchanan, who uses a sophomoric trick of rhetoric to launch an exciting new meme: thanks to the Nobel committee, he says, Obama is once again the recipient of affirmative action. That's all on this topic from me for the time being.

It's a curse!

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If Obama were listening to me, he would go on TV this morning and decline the Nobel Peace Prize. If he accepts it, his wingnut enemies will say it confirms that he's soft on national security. Many of the rest of us will certainly think it's ridiculous that the Peace Prize would be awarded to someone who is currently directing covert military attacks on Pakistan (not to mention those other two places). Obama must know that, too.

Furthermore, the Nobel announcement included a rejoinder that the prize carries with it great responsibility. Every time Obama opts for peace or diplomacy in the future, wingnuts will say he's more concerned about his prize and his legacy than with America. They'll say it confirms how "narcissistic" he is.

Nope, he needs to reject the prize and say that he would be deeply honored to be considered for it after he as accomplished his goals. Since he's a pretty smart dude, and Axelrod is too, I say there's a significant possibility that the President will take StuporMundi's advice this time.

Knock knock Harry Reid

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Stories like this warm the cockles of my black heart, and that's not easy to do any more.

"If Harry Reid does not have the leadership skills to get 60 votes for cloture and give a Democratic president an up-or-down vote on health care, progressives will help defeat him in 2010, even if that means Republicans take that seat," said the head of one progressive organization...."

Believe me --- I'm in for $50 if muscular progressive groups like ActBlue and FireDogLake decide to put the electoral hit on Reid if he doesn't deliver (1) a Senate health reform bill with a real, robust public option and (2) 60 Democrat votes for cloture on any filibuster that Republicans might attempt on said bill.

Weeding out "Blue Dog" Democrats (i.e., crypto-Republicans) could feasibly be done with extreme prejudice by activist groups. Republicans have been doing the same thing for decades. The first Senate targets should be the offenders who have the most to lose, such as senior leaders and major committee chairs --- the glam jobs --- people who have attained the highest prestige, power, and visibility in life that they are capable of. There will never be a President Harry Reid, or a Chief Justice Max Baucus. They will never be bigger celebrities than they are right now, and they need to know that some human nobody in Chicago Heights with $50 to spare can help to take it all away from them forever in the next election. (Can there be anything more humiliating in this society than a loss of celebrity?)

Now, specifically, Harry Reid needs to know that there are a lot of people out here in the howling darkness* who aren't interested in his weasling promises about "something like" a public option. He needs to read the fucking opinion polls and take a long hard think about "where he wants to be in 5 years," as the old job interview question goes. Harry Reid is applying for a job in the Senate next year, just like sixty-something other people who are up for re-election or challenging an incumbent. America has no particular need for the talents of Harry Reid as Senate Supermajority Leader if he's not on board with the supermajority of Americans who want affordable universal health insurance. I bet our Land o' Lincoln homeboy Dick Durbin would be happy to ascend to Harry Reid's lofty station in life with a non-super majority ranging between 51 - 59 Senate Democrats. Unless he doesn't have the stomach for it. In which case, another impromptu mob of furious middle-American nobodies may raise the bet by $50 times a lot and help to put him out of the game, too.

If this Democrat supermajority prefers to shelter the predatory insurance industry from the will of three-quarters of the voters (and vice versa), then let them go do it in the private sector. There is room to purge nine of them, starting in 2010. Almost like Agatha Christie wrote the script: nine little Indians... and then there were none.
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*Editor's note: "howling darkness" was invented by Jean Shepherd.

"Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution" [updated]

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As seen on Atrios: I assume that "Newsmax" is some kind of influential far-right nuthouse organ. But in these times, the drool of self-marginalized lunatics bubbles in chunks from underneath the toilet seat cover and into our public commons too fucking often for my taste. To paraphrase one of the commenters in the linked piece on Media Matters: Judas Fucking Priest --- these people lost one single election, not even a year ago, and they're already halfway down the path toward advocating violent revolution. Wingnuts just need to get a grip on things, because they still control the Senate with the help of Democrat Copperheads, and the media are choked with projectile vomit from the neckholes of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and the rest. Meanwhile, genteel corporate media celebrity pundits are afraid to acknowledge the existence of this puke fountain, let alone suggest that it's an odious and disturbing nuisance.

Anyway, someone needs to let this John Perry guy know that coups actually are not permitted by the U.S. Constitution, whether by "patriotic general and flag officers" or racist asshole bloggers. But, then, maybe the Congress will decide to repeal all federal laws that prohibit insurrections (Article 8), and John Perry can then enjoy his "bloodless coup." John Perry claims that "[d]escribing what may be afoot is not to advocate it." Well, yes it is actually, John Perry. And if you have foreknowledge that a treasonous conspiracy by patriotic military men "may be afoot," I hope that some Secret Service agent won't have to beat it out of you too hard... especially not the 7 foot bald one with a gold grille and prison tats.

Update: I'm sure we all can look forward to indignant editorials festooning the op/ed pages across the land, plus salvos of sharply worded criticism by national TV news treasures like George S. and Chris Matthews, in response to the astonishing revelation that Newsmax is sponsored by the Republican National Committee. It Can't Happen Here Dunt Duhduh Dunnnnn! Yawn....

Pandemic

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Forget the swine flu --- that’s a lightweight compared with the one I'm worried about, which is dragging American civilization with it down the muddy gopher hole of irrelevance and ruin. Of course I’m referring to the creeping tacit conspiracy which binds all of us to pretend that it is genuine for us to act like Hollywood actors who are paid to act like a producer’s idea of how everyday people would act if we were always ready with the appropriate cutting observation, or the perfect ironic retort, or the desire to ceaselessly serve up straight lines to the ones who are always ready with the appropriate cutting observation or the perfect ironic retort, while we simultaneously pretend that we have never seen Hollywood actors say these very words on TV night after night for the past 40 years.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I, for one, know what could go wrong

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Mark Frauenfelder on BoingBoing asks the eternal question:

What could be wrong with taking an insane killer to the country fair?

To me, this is a self-answering question: he would return to his secure, undisclosed location and continue planning the follow-up to his secure, undisclosed activities on 11 September 2001.