No point in "bipartisanship" [updated]

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Now that Democrats have sleazed up the economic stimulus package with regressive GOP measures, such as tax cuts targeted at the wealthy, Republicans have predictably withheld their support of it completely along party lines in the first House vote. The linked article predicts that at least a few Republicans will vote for the parallel bill in the Senate. Democrats need to stop worrying about Republican support now; they need to worry about voter support in the next round of national elections.

Maybe congressional Democrats will surprise all of us by using some strategy, brains, and guts now. One move that would demonstrate those qualities might be to strip all compromises they previously made with Republicans out of the stimulus package when it goes to the conference committee. Compromising with modern Republicans is ridiculous... unless its for the purpose of laying a trap to show that Republicans lie about bipartisanship and will do anything to prevent the majority party from rehabilitating the economy. Democrats should hit all the blab shows pounding on the theme that Republicans wasted almost 2 weeks extracting compromises on the stimulus package in bad faith solely for purposes of obstructing the new political majority in this country. They should explain that all compromises made with Republicans in the stimulus package now have been overcome by events, and that Democrats will restore the bill to its original intent in order to jolt the economy back into action in ways most aligned with the national interests.

I did not vote for Barack Obama or Dick Durbin to be bipartisan... unless it is part of a cunning strategy to be highly partisan on my behalf.

Updates: Maybe --- who knows???

GOP rebranding suggestion

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Here is my contribution toward helping to bring the Republican Party's national image into line with the zeitgeist. Even before designing a new logo, effective rebranding requires the composition of a bulletproof mission statement. I offer, at no cost to the party, my suggestion for one:

Failure is not an option. It is our strategic plan.

That idea; where have I heard that idea before?

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...the idea of Senate Democrats leaning on moderate Republican Senators like Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins for support on economic and healthcare initiatives, that is.

Oh, yes: I heard it right here, last month. The Democrats don't need a veto-proof majority in either chamber of Congress. There are surely some Republicans in Congress who would like to ride the coattails of an improving economy back into office in 2010. And healthcare reform. And whatever. All that pragmatic Republicans have to do is tell Mitch McConnell and John Boehner to go fuck themselves from time to time. After all, what could McConnell and Boehner possibly do about that?

Wise sayings

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[Editor's note: this edition of wise sayings was provided by "Ralph" Keenan, Chicago, Ill., 60660.]

"Market liquidity is a measure of the amount of available suckers."

The "inevitability" play

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It didn't work for Hillary Clinton, and it looks like it didn't work for Caroline Kennedy either.

Down and out [updated]

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It seems Dick Cheney is so unpopular that he cannot even find a few pals to help him move boxes to his new secure undisclosed location.

One might think Mr. Cheney could use some of his deferred compensation from Halliburton to hire a moving van and a few heavies. But maybe it's hard to find a competent box mover who also has a TOP SECRET clearance.

Lying until the end and beyond....

Update: seriously... what could have been so important in those boxes that half-invalid cardiac patient Richard Bruce Cheney had to risk injury by carrying them himself?

Asymmetric presidential pardon tactics

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If I were President Bush and I were a total dick, at about 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on the morning of 20 January 2009 I would pardon Rod Blagojevich.

More slick politics by Harry Reid

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Senate President Harry Reid says that Senate Democrats will not "attempt" to seat Al Franken, Minnesota's certified Senator elect, when the new session of Congress opens tomorrow. Maybe Reid thinks Franken's election was "tainted" by the fact that Franken actually won the recount, as opposed to losing it like Norm Coleman did. Perhaps Reid does not want to risk seeing his good Republican friends across the aisle humiliate themselves by filibustering the conclusion of a federal election, as certified by a bipartisan state election commission. Reid must think that Mitch McConnell can still get 40 Republicans to vote in lockstep against cloture on an asinine, futile filibuster against the U.S. electoral system.

Harry Reid does not appear to understand which political party holds the majority of votes in Congress these days. I hope liberal activists will consider rechanneling their outrage about Rick Warren into a $20 million fundraising effort for a Democratic primary fight against Reid next time he's up for re-election.

I don't need this kind of aggravation at bedtime. Now I need to heal my brain with more liquor.

Just seat Burris, already

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I believe that Harry Reid will be making a stupid and avoidable error if he refuses to seat former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris in the U.S. Senate Tuesday. There are two problems:

1. Burris is the official appointee to Obama's vacant Senate seat as selected by the duly elected Governor of Illinois. The U.S. Senate does not have the power to usurp the executive authority of a state governor irrespective of how crooked or insane he is accused of being. Rod Blagojevich has not been impeached, indicted, or convicted.

2. By pulling a stunt like barring Burris from the Senate, Reid and his Democratic supporters forfeit any moral high ground they may have in the face of Republican efforts to block Al Franken from taking his seat.

3. Burris is famous in Illinois only for having been the state's first African American Attorney General and for not having been accused of political corruption. But as a U.S. Senate candidate in 2010, first in a Democratic primary election, Burris will have his tailbone handed to him by current Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan or just about anyone else with statewide name recognition this side of Lieutenant Governor and professional bozo Pat Quinn. No one in the Illinois Democratic Party is interested in sending a 70-year-old freshman to the Senate who will achieve meaningful seniority for the state about the time his last artery hardens, so that makes Burris an excellent 2-year caretaker for the seat.

So just seat Burris, already. It's not up to the Senate President to choose between tainted and untainted Senators when allocating the deck chairs. Burris would be harmless to the Democrats during a short term in the Senate. He would be totally out of his league as a Senate freshman, and therefore totally dependent on direction from senior Senator Dick Durbin, not to mention Rahm Emanuel and President Obama. Therefore, Burris presents no significant political problem either for the statewide Democratic Party or for the Obama administration. The voters of Illinois can purge the taint themselves, so to speak, in the senatorial elections of 2010.

Unfortunately for Burris on a personal level, he sort of doofed into this appointment, and he hasn't handled it with the acumen or grace of a real professional. Burris could have capped off his career with a noble gesture of public service by declaring that he'd accept the Blagojevich appointment reluctantly, and only to ensure that Illinois has full representation in the U.S. Senate during this difficult time; and that he would not seek permanent election to the post in 2010. Opportunity: blown. Advantage: taint. Oh: well.

Meanwhile, could we have DHS check the Senate plumbing system to determine whether someone is putting stupid pills into Harry Reid's water cooler?

Handling petulant Senate Republicans

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I do not understand why the threatened Senate Republican filibuster against the seating of Al Franken should be considered a problem by Senate Democrats. My gut reaction is that by using that tactic, John Cornyn and his radical clique would be luring Senate Democrats into using the nuclear option to break the filibuster, about which they would then wail in despair. They'd call it "liberal fascism," and the corporate media would dutifully take up that story line and run for the goals with it. Sounds pretty tiresome, doesn't it?

Harry Reid and Dick Durbin should let Cornyn and McConnell and the others filibuster the seating of Franken as long as they like. While House Democrats assemble an economic stimulus package and get it passed, Republican Senators can read Bible verses on the floor of the Senate without interruption. Democrats, meanwhile, may visit the cable news shows and recommend that all of us who have an interest in preventing an economic depression consider carpet-bombing the Republican National Committee and Senate offices with hostile phone calls and emails demanding an end to the moronic petulant frenzy. Don't you think it would be great TV to see Louisiana Senator David Vitter reading passages from the Old Testament in order to block the seating of Minnesota's newest duly elected Senator? Don't you think it would be a serious tactical blunder, at the very least, for Republicans to filibuster anything while the rest of America "eats cake" waiting for economic governance? I do.

But wait. Now I remember why a Republican filibuster of seating Franken should be considered a problem by Senate Democrats: it's because Democrat leadership is spinless and does not understand that everybody now hates Republicans.

Happy New Year 2009

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As seen 22.5 hours ago in my living room: two-thirds of Jackanapes! From left to right, Mike, Mike, Mike, Dave. Apologies to James (acoustic bass guitar) and Chris (hand drums), who didn't fit in the lens. These boys play "acoustic gypsy punk," known to some people as "gypsy shit," in Champaign, Ill. Thanks, fellers!